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I left the roasting of the turkey to Gwen, our cook, who did a magnificent job. She roasted two smaller birds instead of one large one, putting aromatic herbs in the body cavity instead of stuffing. The result was much tastier and more succulent than the turkey to which I had been accustomed during my first marriage. Still, turkey is not my favorite holiday meal and I took it upon myself to roast a couple of ducklings. Yes, I know: fatty, greasy meat and skin, but damnit, it has some TASTE to it, especially when stuffed with apples, raisins and brown sugar, and basted with a mixture of orange juice, soy sauce, and brown sugar!Patricia and Dolores, after small tastes and polite comments about the duck, stuck with the turkey. Felicia and I pigged out on the duck, sharing our gluttony and shaking our heads at the narrow-mindedness of the ladies. I also noticed that when the staff ate, the turkey went largely untouched!Dolores and her daughter spent the night, and in the morning, we had. And I was upside down, seat-belted in. Unlike in your typical movie, the car didn't explode or even catch fire; the engine just stopped. Then she saw that I was covered in blood, was wearing no shirt, and most importantly (from her point of view) was in handcuffs.When she told the ambulance crew about the handcuffs, they decided to put in an IV while I was still unconscious in the car, and wait for the police.The police came and roared by, with fire trucks on their tail, on the way to the house explosion and resulting fire – at Roger's and Alice's home. Eventually, a squad car or two stopped at my scene and helped the ambulance crew get me out of the car and onto a gurney.I had a minor concussion, a broken leg (where it hit the dashboard), a broken nose (thank you, air bag! No really, THANK YOU AIRBAG, because it kept me away from the steering wheel.), and of course, I was still bleeding from both wrists and had seriously scraped palms (from my adventure with the gas pipe). Someone.
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